At the same time, insecurity about my body arose. It started from the inappropriate laughter of some boys in elementary school. Those comments stayed in my mind for years and I couldn’t let go of them. I considered them true and covered “the flaws” of my body even as an adult. With age, gentleness towards oneself naturally increases. I, too, gained confidence through work, friends, relationships. But nonetheless, I carried complexes with me.
I’ve been doing body painting since 2007, and over the years I’ve noticed how big a positive effect my paintings have on my models. The initial nervousness disappears and most forget that they are almost naked. The joy of seeing oneself as a work of art is palpable and no one has mentioned anything negative about their body after the painting has been finished. 99% would like to get painted again.
As I had painted so many people, I wondered if I could feel like my models. Could body painting heal my wounds too? I myself had only had my face painted, and I seriously suspected that the magic of body painting would not work for me. One day when I felt really down I forced myself to try the paint on myself. When applying paint to myself in front of the mirror, I remember feeling desperate, I saw all the flaws of my body. I cried too, but I persevered. And the more finished the painting looked like, the easier it felt to breathe. And when I looked at the pictures on my camera screen, I sighed out loud “wow!”.
I still don’t understand what happened at that moment, but the uncertainties about myself that had disturbed my mind for almost my entire life began to vanish. I named my painting “Dance with myself” and the printed artwork still adorns my kitchen. I’ve painted myself again since, but painting myself is so hard that today I prefer to focus on making other people works of art! 😄
That feeling is indescribable when I see my client’s joy and how they are moved by their own image. It’s so amazing to see them praising themselves and what they look like. They wouldn’t want to do anything else but to stare at themselves in the mirror and admire. That transformation touches me every time. That’s why I love this – Body painting is wonderful, but there’s nothing better than making another person see themselves as gorgeous as the rest of us see them!